so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
