is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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