WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
