and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
