I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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