I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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