You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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