I didn't shave. On purpose
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
