Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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