Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
