We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
