Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
