so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
