My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize