if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
