he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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