I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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