I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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