yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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