if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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