OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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