You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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