fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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