I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
