Me. At least after what I've been through.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
