my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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