I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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