Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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