You made me cry and you don't even care
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The air was thick with penises
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
