Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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