Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they're like a gay fantastic four
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
