he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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