did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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