I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
