Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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