Yo dont text me then not text me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
