Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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