i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize