I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Send help, water and tortillas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
