There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
