I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
