i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
