I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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