Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
