What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
