so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
