I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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