She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can't turn off my feet"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
