You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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