I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
