We're like a lot better than the average bears
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
