Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
