so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
