How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
