Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
