True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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