Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
