"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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