Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
