I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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