ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
