I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
