There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
