Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
