How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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