Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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